*parang dear joe (ng lovenotes ni joe d' mango)* haha
HE WAS THE MAN OF MY DREAMS, AND STILL HE IS. I never said to anyone how much I liked him. For an innocent kid, it was just so normal to admire someone. You plainly could not figure out until now, on why you had a crush on an ugly-duckling skinny girl, or on a dirty, bully and chubby young lad--haha-agree?-funny it is, to reminisce the good old days.
As what other people would say, sometimes love comes too early for some people, and a little too late for the others. Needless to say, who cares then?--WHEN LOVE AFTER ALL IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THIS WORLD. Whether it comes too soon or too late, it's still that priceless experience and moment after all.
He caught me once, and still trying to catch me until this very moment. This crucial stage is killing me. I still don't know where to place myself. Would I stay on being his good friend, or would I grab the chance of being his girl? The answer, is yet unknown.
After so many years, I never told him, even after we had our communication again. I never failed to remember him. His name, his looks, every vivid memory that I have him. I still hold a key for him in my heart. A space that was never, and will never be replaced. I met a lot of guys in the years that I was not with him. I fell in love, cried, and experienced the aches this young heart could ever have. I just totally regret that I didn't make a move to look for him earlier. I missed a lot from him. The time could have been more favorable for us.
But maybe, that's what we call kismet- destiny. Good or bad? That I do not know. When I was actually ready to open my fragile heart once more- yours is closed and owned by someone I may call a lucky girl. Yeah, she is. She really is. Maybe I was lucky too, for he liked me once. Maybe I am lucky too, for he said that he still likes me up to this very moment. Maybe I am lucky as his girl that I could hear him say the sweetest words, his sweetest voice, his sweetest songs, could feel his care even if we're on the other side of each others' world. I promised myself, that I would try not to let myself fall for him. I still have the good values in me. Interfering in a relationship, is indeed a big no-no. But how could the power of love just took advantage of my weakness? It's as if I'm swallowing everything that I proudly said--I fell in the wrong trap.
What hurts the most?-is making him fall in this situation too. I am currently in the dilemma of still uttering the sweet words, making him feel special, liking him (despite the idea that he's taken), and all that stuff, or just remain to be his friend. I knew then, I was going beyond my limitations. I don't exactly know how he really feels towards me, but should I make him free from thinking about this too? Should I make myself free of this craziness? or should I just let things fall into their right places?
Sometimes, I feel so damn guilty. I know that I lied to him when he asked me if I am alright with this--because I'm not. I can't understand what the real score is. I lied to him when I told him that I am ok, and that I am happy. I know I am, but not completely happy. I don't know why I have to continue all of these things... is making each other happy that bad?? are we prohibited to achieve our true happiness? It's hard to assume. It's hard to admit. It's difficult to understand. But I am patiently trying to understand each detail that's happening.
THE MYSTERY HAS YET TO UNFOLD. Only heaven knows what's for me and my ideal man. Only the future could tell. Could I live inside his world?-that I don't know too. He's like the heavens, so difficult to reach. What chances could an ordinary girl like me have to win a heart of a prince like him? What chances could a friend like me have to win his heart over the girl that he loves? I don't have much weapons against all the mighty and beautiful ladies that fight because of you. I don't have much. I don't have anything but the HAPPINESS that we shared, and the LOVE that I am willing to give you. The boundaries, time, place, hindrances--did everything I think was at the time, or was actually in a different one?
If this is a dream, wake me up.
To hold on, or just to give up...i still don't know...
only time could tell,
but let me cherish each moment for now
I am here to wait...and STAY.
mula kay:
mala- love notes ni
"drama queen"
HE WAS THE MAN OF MY DREAMS, AND STILL HE IS. I never said to anyone how much I liked him. For an innocent kid, it was just so normal to admire someone. You plainly could not figure out until now, on why you had a crush on an ugly-duckling skinny girl, or on a dirty, bully and chubby young lad--haha-agree?-funny it is, to reminisce the good old days.
As what other people would say, sometimes love comes too early for some people, and a little too late for the others. Needless to say, who cares then?--WHEN LOVE AFTER ALL IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THIS WORLD. Whether it comes too soon or too late, it's still that priceless experience and moment after all.
He caught me once, and still trying to catch me until this very moment. This crucial stage is killing me. I still don't know where to place myself. Would I stay on being his good friend, or would I grab the chance of being his girl? The answer, is yet unknown.
After so many years, I never told him, even after we had our communication again. I never failed to remember him. His name, his looks, every vivid memory that I have him. I still hold a key for him in my heart. A space that was never, and will never be replaced. I met a lot of guys in the years that I was not with him. I fell in love, cried, and experienced the aches this young heart could ever have. I just totally regret that I didn't make a move to look for him earlier. I missed a lot from him. The time could have been more favorable for us.
But maybe, that's what we call kismet- destiny. Good or bad? That I do not know. When I was actually ready to open my fragile heart once more- yours is closed and owned by someone I may call a lucky girl. Yeah, she is. She really is. Maybe I was lucky too, for he liked me once. Maybe I am lucky too, for he said that he still likes me up to this very moment. Maybe I am lucky as his girl that I could hear him say the sweetest words, his sweetest voice, his sweetest songs, could feel his care even if we're on the other side of each others' world. I promised myself, that I would try not to let myself fall for him. I still have the good values in me. Interfering in a relationship, is indeed a big no-no. But how could the power of love just took advantage of my weakness? It's as if I'm swallowing everything that I proudly said--I fell in the wrong trap.
What hurts the most?-is making him fall in this situation too. I am currently in the dilemma of still uttering the sweet words, making him feel special, liking him (despite the idea that he's taken), and all that stuff, or just remain to be his friend. I knew then, I was going beyond my limitations. I don't exactly know how he really feels towards me, but should I make him free from thinking about this too? Should I make myself free of this craziness? or should I just let things fall into their right places?
Sometimes, I feel so damn guilty. I know that I lied to him when he asked me if I am alright with this--because I'm not. I can't understand what the real score is. I lied to him when I told him that I am ok, and that I am happy. I know I am, but not completely happy. I don't know why I have to continue all of these things... is making each other happy that bad?? are we prohibited to achieve our true happiness? It's hard to assume. It's hard to admit. It's difficult to understand. But I am patiently trying to understand each detail that's happening.
THE MYSTERY HAS YET TO UNFOLD. Only heaven knows what's for me and my ideal man. Only the future could tell. Could I live inside his world?-that I don't know too. He's like the heavens, so difficult to reach. What chances could an ordinary girl like me have to win a heart of a prince like him? What chances could a friend like me have to win his heart over the girl that he loves? I don't have much weapons against all the mighty and beautiful ladies that fight because of you. I don't have much. I don't have anything but the HAPPINESS that we shared, and the LOVE that I am willing to give you. The boundaries, time, place, hindrances--did everything I think was at the time, or was actually in a different one?
If this is a dream, wake me up.
To hold on, or just to give up...i still don't know...
only time could tell,
but let me cherish each moment for now
I am here to wait...and STAY.
mula kay:
mala- love notes ni
"drama queen"
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